We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
