Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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