life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
