I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
