How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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