I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
