Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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