So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
