Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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