Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
