Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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