sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
