How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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