Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
