No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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