drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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