You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
