would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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