i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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