the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
