I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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