so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
