Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
