Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
