i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
