Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
