Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you traded sex for a burrito?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my being single is dangerous.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
