then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
