you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
