Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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