guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
