i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
