The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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