:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
