Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
