problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
