No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
