Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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