So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
