do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
