Dual....:-)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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