the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
