can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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