i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just blew my weed a kiss
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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