tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
