just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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