you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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