Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
