You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
