I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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