I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
