Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
